The Sky's the Limit
by marmaroth
Summary: "Second Victim: Spanner: OTAKU." Because what the hell, everyone knows Tsuna's too uke to stick with one guy and push all the other ones away. A one-pairing-per-oneshot all27 series...and when I say all27, I mean ALL27. Pen name formerly nagashinokuro
1. Irie Shouichi: Sanity

_**The three laws of this Series are as follows:**_

**I. No heterosexual. All pairings will be boy on boy.**

**II. No pedophilia. All pairings will be within legal age limits, or will have found loopholes.**

**III. All pairings within the above laws are fair game.**

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_**i r i e . s h o u i c h i**_

**. s . a . n . i . t . y .**

"_This world is the only one…where I met you, Sawada Tsunayoshi. You don't know it yet, but when we were in high school, I helped fix your bike…"_

Actually, it was a lie. He did remember, after all. That first day. The day that changed everything. When the strange black-broccoli-cow-combo object that was Lambo arrived at his house via the Grenade Air Express, and he found himself in the midst of momentary chaos…

"_Hey! Who blew stuff up?" Out stomped an angry brunet, his face in the universal frustrated-housewife expression: furrowed brow, angry blush. "If weird rumors spring up, I can't go to school!"_

He won't lie this time. At that very moment, Sawada Tsunayoshi looked to him like an angel, a lone oasis of sanity in this ocean of madness. Of course, the image was quickly shattered (Reborn and his Leon gun took care of that), but was still a lasting first impression that made it to ten years later—

"_Are you sure?" he demanded, uncharacteristically angry. "You're risking your life!"_

_A gentle smile. "If it's for my family, then I'll do it. With all my heart."_

And then, at that moment, the one that he claimed was their accidental first meeting but was really only their second. Or perhaps just another of the countless ones, the ones that he _made_ accidental.

_A brunet, staring at an obviously useless bike with with an adorably hopeless expression on his face like that of a kicked puppy. Someone cleared his throat._

"_Um, excuse m-me." God, he was stuttering—this was what being an antisocial nerd did to you. _(At least, that's what he thought then. He knows better now.) _"M-Maybe I can help?"_

_The hopeless expression immediately transformed into an even more adorable expression of joy. Like someone who had found salvation _(just like he did, all those years ago). _"R-Really?"_

So, okay, Tsuna was cute. Really really cute. So cute, in fact, that he found himself blushing and stuttering his way through the tremulous, carefully balanced relationship that was part boss-and-subordinate, and part friend-and-friend.

"_This is why I don't want to be a mafia boss!" Lips half- pursed, half-pouting in indecision. "Shouichi has done a lot of bad things to us—"_

_Stab._

"_-…but he's done a lot of dangerous things for us, too." And then Tsuna beamed shyly up at him. "S-So from now on, please continue to lend us your strength."_

Tsuna tilted his head and stared up at him with wide, curious brown eyes. "Shouichi-san? Is something wrong?"

Oh. Right. Past and future were all very well, but in the present, he had to actually pay attention. _Present, focus on the present._

Sweaty hands felt empty at his sides, a fiery blush crept up his neck; he swallowed. "U-Um, Ts-Tsunayoshi-kun—"

A brief, flitting smile, and he found himself mesmerized. "What is it?"

"I—that is, um—" Shouichi took a deep breath, clenched his fists, squeezed his eyes shut, and fairly shouted: "I LOVE YOU, TSUNAYOSHI-KUN!"

There was a very abrupt and very long silence.

Then,

"Join the fucking bandwagon," Xanxus snorted from his spot in his couch behind them, as Gokudera started screaming threats and insults at the redhead, (Yamamoto held him back. The swordsman was fairly used to this by now.) Hibari twitched and his tonfa lit up with purple flame, Mukuro took over Chrome with a nasty smirk on his face, and Reborn cocked his Leon gun.

Shouichi paled, while Tsuna turned and slowly, but surely, banged his head on the nearest wall.

And here he had thought this whole time that Irie Shouichi was sane…


	2. Spanner: Otaku

_s p a n n e r _

**. o . t . a . k . u .**

Tsuna fidgeted nervously. _How did I let my mom talk me into this…?_

Blind dates were the bane of Tsuna's life, mostly because of the uncertainty they spawned. Was the person you were having dinner with violent? Antisocial? Overly obsessive? Clinically insane? A former criminal? A depraved pervert? How were you supposed to know? Sure, his mother always said "he's so nice, Tsu-kun, I'm sure you'll like him!" But his mother's definition of "nice" was so _broad_…

(Tsuna tried not to bring up the memories. It was too traumatizing.)

Granted, the person this time around wasn't that bad. He'd been calm enough during this whole ordeal, answering Tsuna's stuttered questions readily, and he had a half-sleepy, half-relaxed look on his face that was very reassuring. It made you want to take things slow, something that Tsuna desperately needed in his daily life.

Plus, he had to admit, the person across from him was good-looking. His hair was a smooth, silky blond, his eyes were a lovely sky blue. His skin was unusually pale for a guy (too many hours working in the office?), and his body wasn't weak-looking, nor was it over-buff. In fact, it was nice and slim, while still giving the image of being well-built. The lollipop he was constantly sucking on was kind of strange, but Tsuna guessed it was cute in a weird way.

Yes, this person was actually quite "nice"…

It was just that he wouldn't. Stop. Staring.

Tsuna cleared his throat. "U-Um, s-so, Spanner-san, what do you do for a living?" He wanted to smack himself in the face. _'What do you do for a living?'_ He sounded like a father interrogating his daughter's fiancé, not the person going out.

Spanner-san stopped his staring and gave Tsuna a lazily amused look. "I'm a university student, Tsunayoshi-san."

"O-Oh." Right. And Tsuna wanted to smack himself in the face again. Or bang his head against the table, yes, that would work too. Was he stupid? He was only a college second-year himself, of course Spanner couldn't be that much older than him. His face burned bright red as he gave a mumbled "s-sorry."

Spanner smiled slightly, still looking amused. "It's fine."

"Th-Then…um…what's your major?"

"Mechanics."

"Eh…mechanics?"

Spanner nodded, pulling his lollipop out and popping it back in the other cheek. "Yeah. I've always been interested in robots."

"…robots?" Tsuna was momentarily thrown off, but Spanner acted like it was a normal thing.

"Oh. Speaking of which, you're from Japan, right?"

"Ah, that's right." His parents had forced him to move to Italy a few years prior. Something about his dad's job. But he failed to see how this was relevant…?

"I like things from Japan," Spanner said around his lollipop.

"…" Tsuna gaped, feeling himself turn red to the very tips of his ears. _HIII! Isn't—Isn't this a bit sudden?_

"I've always admired their robot technology," the blond went on without missing a beat.

Oh. Oh, of course. That must've been it. What was he thinking, letting his mind run off like that? Tsuna mentally kicked himself. This was a blind date, a blind date! There was no way Spanner-san would say something like that so quickly!

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He moaned into Spanner's mouth, his hands fisted in locks of blond hair as the older man's hands roamed, dipping lower and lower down his abdomen. _He tastes like grape_, Tsuna thought hazily…then he let out a gasp and broke away, panting as Spanner's fingers approached dangerous territory. "Sp-Spanner-sa—ah!"

Spanner's eyes filled with lazy amusement at the way Tsuna flushed at his touch, erotic and adorable at the same time. "…cute."

"D-Don't—mmph!" Tsuna closed his eyes as Spanner pressed their lips together again without halting the progress of his hands. Summoning up all the willpower he possessed (which wasn't very much), the brunet pushed away. "A-Aren't we moving a bit fast?"

Spanner halted. "You mean you don't like it?"

Tsuna flushed again. "I—It's not that I don't l-like—" Oh, geez, and now he sounded like he _did_ like it—which he had to admit he did. "I j-just think we sh-should…" He trailed off.

"Take it slow?" Spanner finished for him. When Tsuna nodded rapidly, Spanner sighed and got off him…and the sigh made Tsuna panic.

"Um! But…! It's not that I don't like you, Spanner-san! You're really nice and I had a great time and it's not l-like I d-don't wa…I mean…but, I, um—" With nothing else to do, Tsuna paused and said meekly, "I'm sorry…"

Spanner looked amused again as he fished out another lollipop from his pocket (the other one was dropped somewhere a while back) and popped it in his mouth. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize," he told the smaller boy. "I'm fine with it. It's not like I'm a sex fiend or anything."

Tsuna sighed with relief. "Y-Yeah…you're right." He'd met _far_ too many of those in his lifetime, he reminded himself (with a wince), and it was about time karma gave him a break.

It was a really, really _nice_ break, too. A nice, blond-haired-blue-eyed break, with good conversation skills and a nice body and fantastic hands and really, really skilled tongue—

GAH. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! Tsuna shook his head, blushing horribly, trying to pay attention to Spanner's voice. He had a nice voice, too. Smooth and just a little husky and—

STOP.

"But before you go, can you do me a favor?" Spanner was saying. Tsuna nodded quickly, trying to force down his blush.

"O-Of course!"

Spanner turned around and reached into a closet, and Tsuna—very, very belatedly—realized that they had somehow made it to Spanner's apartment. In his room. _HIII! When did that happen?_

While Tsuna mentally freaked out about what _could _have happened had he not halted their…progress….Spanner busied himself with digging around in the closet. Tsuna thought that he heard the distinct rustle of silk (and had to wonder what exactly the blond had in there). Finally, though, Spanner let out a kind of noise of success and pulled out his find.

Tsuna stared.

And stared some more.

Being from Japan, he recognized it perfectly. But surely it couldn't be. Why would Spanner-san…

"U-Um, Sp-Spanner-san, is that a…" he trailed off, unable to finish as Spanner held it up against him critically.

"Hmm…I knew it, it fits you perfectly." The blond nodded, as he set the _maid costume_ down and pulled his lollipop out of his mouth. Then he headed back to the closet.

Tsuna's mouth fell open in silent horror as Spanner came back with what he recognized as a _bondage cat-boy outfit_ and held it up against the brunet's slim frame. "This one's just right as well. How lucky…"

A dozen costumes later, Spanner smiled at Tsuna lazily. "So, will you model these for me?"

"_I like things from Japan."_

Tsuna wanted to cry.

But of course. With his luck, Spanner just _had _to be a closet otaku.


End file.
